I should be on my way to meet the birthmom for a doctor appointment, but she had to cancel because she wasn’t feeling well. I’ll admit, I’m a little bummed because I thought we may find out if the baby is a boy or girl today. I can’t believe she only has approximately two more months to go–and we still don’t know. I’ve actually been happy with not knowing, it’s been easier for me. I haven’t purchased a lot of gender specific things that may not be used if it falls through–and I’m not really too fond of the “neutral” things I have seen. BUT I’ve started to become a little panicky this week, thinking that her due date is just around the corner…and it’s possible that she could deliver early….and I feel unprepared. Unprepared because, honestly, I’ve spent the last four months convincing myself that she will change her mind. I’m more prepared for her to make that decision, than I am for her to actually choose to let us parent her child. THIS WEEK, it has started to sink in that it’s very possible that we will have a newborn in two months! We’ve done so much to prepare for our international adoption–and I definitely feel more prepared for “M”, but there are so many things that I want to accomplish before the birth of our “first” child–and I feel like I am running out of time.
***While typing this post, birthmom has called and has a new appointment for Tuesday morning!***
*****Our dossier is now in Ethiopia, hopefully being translated*****