No Baby

No Baby Today.  She will go back to the doctor on Thursday. We had a car load full of stuff for this doctor visit today (her stuff + mine) and Seth had his bag packed ready to go from work.  At least now I will have another day to pack better 🙂

I guess I don’t really know what to write at this point.  Maybe some of you are wondering what we (birthmom and I) talk about during these visits.  Today we talked about her house being haunted, Halloween and Halloween Costume and feeling to sick or anxious to eat at this point. We also talked about this particular CiCi’s Pizza that is advertised along the way but we’ve never actually seen on all these trips. I also told her the story of a time when I thought a burglar was breaking in our house and ripped my toenail off trying to barricade myself in the upstairs bathroom (when it turn out to be a supersoaker watergun falling down the cellar steps 🙂

While we were waiting for the doctor in the room today…we actually talked about how we were so ready for today to be “the day” but terrified and not ready for today to be “the day”.   We talked about everything and nothing at the same time. It’s really been a joy and blessing to have this time with her–and I say that sincerely. Sometimes when my anxiety gets the best of me, honestly, I wish that I didn’t have to go through this and have so much contact. At the same time I feel that this is the way it should be. Me knowing her and her knowing me. Somedays it feels like the seconds are taking hours as we drive to the doctor…waiting to hear some news….and sometimes I can’t believe we don’t have a longer time to spend together before the birth.

Tomorrow will be my 3rd last day at work. We also had a good laugh about that today.


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