Ethiopia Update and Some Thoughts

Over the holiday we received video of “M” and “A” together. “M” seems to be more comfortable with her English.  “A” seems like he will be a little bundle of joy.  We were overjoyed to receive the video before Christmas.  We also received Christmas pictures of the children in Santa hats, they were really cute.  We’ve also received a few more photos over the last two weeks.  A traveling family is delivering our care package this week and I’m curious to hear any feedback or see pictures of them receiving it.  

This Thursday is our second court date. I honestly have mixed emotions about it.  I’m hoping that we pass this second time around, but I have a looming fear that we will not pass again.  Maybe I’m just being negative and not having faith that we will bring them home in a few weeks.  I can’t believe we’ve been a part of the international adoption process for TWO YEARS now.  We’ve experienced so many set backs AND blessings along the way, all that have led us to this moment of waiting to hear the court’s decision on our case. I remember when we started with Vietnam, I’d secretly thought that I’d like to start adoption #2 at this time (2009).  VERY FUNNY!  We could be completing adoption #3 if we pass court.  

Another part of me is getting anxious—anxious that if we pass we will travel in a few weeks and leave Myer behind with family. This is going to be harder that I imagined (I’m getting a little tearful as I write it).  I’m worried about all the ins and outs of what will happen while we are there.  Wondering how we will pay for everything and not come away being too far in the red for too long.  I worry about “M” leaving the house where she has lived for almost nine months….and I worry about all the transition that “A” has experienced in the last four months.  I worry about their loss and their grief.  I also worry if we’ve bitten off too much….adopting 3 children in four months (if we travel in February).  Was this really what God called us to do?  Or did we misunderstand.

I could go on and on with my worries and anxieties, but honestly, they do not override the absolute happiness and joy that it brings me when I think about meeting both “M” and “A” for the first time….and then when we get to bring them home and they get to meet their little brother for the first time.  

Three years ago I asked and pleaded with God for a child.

Two years ago I asked God over and over again for a baby girl from Vietnam.

I spent a lot of time last year telling God what I wanted and what I could and couldn’t do.

I now have a beautiful baby boy and two Ethiopian children on the way.  Never what I imagined at this time in my life.  I asked God for what I wanted.  He knew what I needed in HIS time and according to HIS plan. He’s blessed me in ways I never visioned and stretched me more than I knew possible.  THANK YOU JESUS for this family you are building.

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6 responses to “Ethiopia Update and Some Thoughts

  • Suzanne Edora

    This is so beautiful. We will keep lifting you up to the Father.

  • Marilyn

    Yes, I agree with what Suzanne said, this was beautiful and wonderful to read, and to ride along with you. When I imagine you meeting them for the first time, it’s pretty exciting….and I’m not even the one getting to do it!

  • Heather

    Yes, Adopting three children in four months is going to be VERY stressful. You are going to feel pulled in all directions and wish you had an extra pair of arms. Your house is going to be a mess and you are going to look even worse then your house. This is still no reason not to do it. Just prepare yourself the best you can for the insanity you are about to embark on.Remember it might take a year or longer to be where you want to be. Don’t have unrealistic expectations. You will look back a year from now and never remember life without them.

  • Sarah

    Well…. as someone who brought home two in less than a year I can guarantee that there will be moments where you question your sanity (like what in the world did I do kind of questioning). I spent several days sporadically wondering why I ruined our perfect life by adding a second baby so quickly while trying to juggle everything else. It’s perfectly normal. It’s okay. People who have multiples biolgically have the same thoughts (trust me – I’ve had several friends who shared their breakdowns with me).

    Now for the unsolicited advice (lol – gotta love it, huh???). You are going to be the parents. There will be times when you want people to help you – give advice – tell you if you’re doing something wrong. This is perfectly, wonderfully okay b/c you’re soliciting it. However, you’re going to have 18 million people who will try to tell you how to parent your children better – especially the older ones who are going to struggle to find their way in their new worlds. You’ll be the ones who really know them. You’ll be the ones who understand how to help them, what it takes to make them feel safe, what you need to protect them from. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty b/c you’re not doing it “the right way.” If I had a dollar for everyone that told me I was overprotective of Emily, I’d be a rich woman (or have a lot more kids b/c I could have afforded to adopt more). Do what you feel is right and ignore everyone else unless you want their help. It’s hard b/c you don’t know what will work, and being new at the whole parenting thing, you don’t know what is normal and what isn’t , but in a way that’s a blessing b/c you can make your own normal and be happy.

    Enjoy every single minute with Meyer, look forward to meeting M and A, and know that God is blessing your family. We’ll be praying you get to travel very, very soon. (and by the way, I had a $239 phonebill from our hotel when we went to get Emily simply to call and talk to Katie – she was 15 months old – so leaving one behind to get the others isn’t easy!)

  • Marilyn

    Okay. I’m jumping in again to quickly underscore a few things from above comments. These are comments I found myself nodding enthusiastically about:

    1) “This is still no reason not to do it.” LOTS of things that defy reason (in the minds of others) still end up being worth it. Their value comes mostly from your make of the circumstances, not the circumstances by themselves. (Your questioning and pondering are perfectly normal, though, and it’s good you can give voice to it.)

    2) As Sarah said, “people who have biological multiples have the same thoughts.” That’s absolutely right. Having doubts is a big part of parenthood, no matter HOW the parenthood is arrived at. It’s part of what binds all parents together in one big club across the globe, the occasional “WHAT in the world were we thinking?” 🙂

  • Heather Thompson

    Just to chime in here.”people who have biological multiples have the same thoughts.” This is true but in real life I have found people have a lot less compassion and sympathy towards my situation since I “chose” to have two. It is kind of like” you made your bed now lie in it ” while with bio multiples it is like “you poor thing”. I don’t understand this attitude because we are going through the same dilemmas and situations as people with bio multiples. I just want to prepare you for this. It seems like because we made this “choice “we are expected not to need to vent or express how truly hard it is. I feel this is very unfair.

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