Today was a rough day for me.
We’ve had a disruptive schedule over the weeks since Christmas
Due to snow days, 2-hour delays.
Today was my breaking point.
I was intentional about doing the rocking
because I felt like I really “needed” it.
I am angry.
From behaviors throughout the day.
It wears me out.
She just lays on me.
I realize that during the rockings I have not really been holding her
(well maybe a couple of times)
She just kind of lays there.
Today I intentionally placed my hand on her back.
I’m happy with the rocking thus far. I’m happy to make the effort. I’m pleased that we are having this time, even when I haven’t felt like rocking her. I’m wishing this wasn’t “forced time” and it would happen naturally sometimes, maybe we’ll get there one day.