she is very angry when it is time to rock
from previous conversations
she plops down on me with her back to me
i said we did not have to rock if she didn’t want to
she says she doesn’t want to talk
begins snapping fingers
i say nothing
i think she wants me to
i ask one time if there is something she want to talk about
if something is bothering her
she begins talking to me about school
and a writing assigment that is due friday
she says she only has 4 words completed and it’s supposed to be a story
i can tell she is bothered by this also—because it is a contest
she talks about this for 10 minutes
she is stressed
she is a perfectionist
she is setting the standards high for herself
although she is stressed and angry today I walked away from the rocking with a sense of happiness
she opened up to me about what is going on with her
which explains some behavior
and i didn’t have to pry the information out of her
today mastewal didn’t want to talk
maybe she was tired for the weekend
i never looked at the timer or the watch
she was very quiet and uneasy today
rockin’ on the road
thought about rocking but didn’t anticipate it happening since we’d traveled all day
didn’t look at clock or timer
it was actually mom that reminded or asked me if i was going to rock
i didn’t really know she was reading 🙂
we talked about nana’s zebra snuggie
it’s pretty awesome
we also talked about the pain of braces
liked rocking at my parents house
they have a recliner and it’s bigger
mastewal asks: “why do you always close your eyes when we rock”
how cute is she?
check out her story at www. mandiejoy.com
help me send more onesies/shirts to africa by going here
- nail in the swagger wagon tire this week AND lost a hubcap. awesome. you know you can’t top that.
- the snow days are really out of control around here. i don’t know what else to say. i know its dangerous in some areas, but i know i reached my limit on wednesday, because i usually don’t mind them–but enough is enough.
- the workshop. love it. and my hair is getting long. woot.woot. seriously, if you need some upkeep go see amber at the workshop.
- so today i drove the kids to kentucky to surprise my mom for her birthday (yesterday). it was a true surprise for her. the kids were great as usual on the car ride. we stopped at target in huntington for a break and then in lexington for chipotle lunch and a quick trip to meijer. we picked up balloons, a flower and a cake. parked a couple of houses down and walked up to the door to surprise her.
- david crowder band’s remake of flyleaf’s all round me song. wow. i love it. listened to it several times on the way to kentucky today.
- starting to think about when i can get back to ethiopia. would love to go at easter time, if easter falls differently there–so i don’t miss easter here. i was daydreaming about a move there—how and when—unknown.
- rockin’ mama challenge: going well. i’m grateful to my mom this evening, she questions whether or not i’d rocked mastewal today, urging me to do so–even though it was later than I would have liked for her to be up (9pm). so i did.
you can participate as well go to www.conversiondiary.com
Today was a rough day for me.
We’ve had a disruptive schedule over the weeks since Christmas
Due to snow days, 2-hour delays.
Today was my breaking point.
I was intentional about doing the rocking
because I felt like I really “needed” it.
I am angry.
From behaviors throughout the day.
It wears me out.
She just lays on me.
I realize that during the rockings I have not really been holding her
(well maybe a couple of times)
She just kind of lays there.
Today I intentionally placed my hand on her back.
I’m happy with the rocking thus far. I’m happy to make the effort. I’m pleased that we are having this time, even when I haven’t felt like rocking her. I’m wishing this wasn’t “forced time” and it would happen naturally sometimes, maybe we’ll get there one day.
Rocked about an hour earlier today.
She spent a lot of time making up her own lyrics to
“there was an old lady who swallowed a fly”
cracking herself up
Asked me some personal questions.
I answered to the best of my ability.
She questioned about the date of our move,
I’m noticing that this is a recurring topic of conversations during the rocking.
She must be thinking about it a lot.
Join the club 🙂
I didn’t look at the watch/clock/timer.
I thought about the rocking differently this time.
There is always something going on here.
I start to wonder how larger families make time for all of their children. I’m not saying this is impossible, but there is always motion.
I don’t dive too much into these thoughts, because it’s not me or my family, and I’ve tried to learn to not “take on” things and worry about things in other people’s families. Because I have enough concern with my own.
I just know that we have to pick a time and it always feels like we are “squeezing” the rocking in–and how it shouldn’t be this way.